first baby

Zuki's not doing well.  He is my guy, my friend, my feline.  I got him nearly 12 years ago after he was dumped at a vet's office in Vancouver, Washington where I was living and teaching.  One of the parents of my kids worked at the office and happened to mention it, and I was wanting a pet, though knew it might be a sketchy decision with my kind of wanderlust.  His full name is Godzuki, named by the son of a man I dated.  The seven year old was obsessed with Godzilla at the time, but of course that wasn't gonna fly.  "How about Godzuki?  That's Godzilla's son's name."  Godzuki.  Zuki.  I liked it.

Zuki and I lived in two different apartments in Washington.  When I moved back to New York, my brother flew out to take the cross country trip with Zuki and me.  Zuki has camped in a state forrest in Idaho, Montana, driven by the geysers of Yellowstone, and crossed the Badlands.  He met my college roommate in Minnesota, and my cousin in Michigan.  He didn't like all that traveling, but as my little dude, he had to get used to it.

For a year we lived with my dad in New York.  My dad was not a cat person, but Zuki is a man's man and wanted to be buds.  My dad started calling him "Zuki Up My Ass."  My dad would complain, but I caught him working with Zuki snuggled up on his lap many times.

Zuki and I moved to Vermont and lived in two different apartments over the course of the next few years. Then I met my husband, from Massachusetts, and we made a final move here.  He couldn't be happier about his retirement home.  Zuki has had 6 acres to roam around, cool hiding spaces under barns,  and plenty of birds, mice and chipmunks to hunt.  He adjusted well (though it took some time) when we got a golden retriever puppy, Annie.  Though let's be very clear here: Zuki is definitely the boss.


I thought Annie would be the favored pet for Cassidy, but Zuki has been more patient by far.  As a small baby, Zuki would walk right over her to lay on my stomach while I fed Cassidy a bottle.  He is so patient with her screaming and squealing at him, blowing kisses, laying her head on his body for a snuggle, and sometimes he even stretches his nose out to kiss her.  Cassidy is so happy and excited to see Zuki, like every time is the first time she'd ever seen him before.  She is just crazy nuts about him.


He really is the coolest cat ever.  And my heart is breaking to see him slowing down.  He's on a daily dose of prednesone for asthma and now has a mysterious ailment to his hind legs so that he walks wobbly and can't jump like he used to.  He's 12.  He's a senior.  We nearly lost him a few years ago after he threw a clot.  After he fully recovered from what most cats don't survive, I think I figured he was immortal.


Cassidy probably won't understand when Zuki finally passes.  Because I am her mother, my heart will break twice.

He's still with us for now and who knows?  It could be a few months, it could be five years.  My vet told me it could be a 9-1-1 anytime.  All I know is that he's been my traveling buddy, my companion and witness to my stories for all of these years.  I wish he could stay forever.