No, seriously, where does the time go? So cliche, and so true.
6 years old now. And a few things on my mind I'd love to keep alive in memory in cyberspace as I'm sure I will soon forget, as I have so many things. Swimming, Gold Shoes, and ah crap, there was something else that I seem to have forgotten already.
So Cassidy's been taking swimming lessons for over a year now, which was miraculous in itself as she was never ever keen on getting in a pool before that. So across from her gymnastics a new pool opened up, and she adamantly said I am NOT taking swimming lessons. I said we're just going to look at it. This place had a gradated pool, like a shoreline. We looked through the window at all the toys and props and things the teachers there use, the happy splashing children, and Cassidy looked at me and said, "Fine. I'll do it." I might have signed her up whether she liked it or not, but boy did this make it easier. Having grown up on the water, I am adamant about swimming as a life skill; one you don't get to choose like gymnastics or dancing. But behold, she LOVED it - just not getting her face in the water. But at level one, you don't have to. Now we're in level two.
She was getting used to it, a little, last spring, but the whole summer passed and all of soccer season before she got in this pool again. The first week I watched her teacher dunk her under water, and the shock and horror when she rose back up, and soon after, the tears. My heart watching her through the glass window, oh! I don't know why that teacher dunked her, and as a teacher I know that we make mistakes all the time so of course I hold no malice, but it was a struggle the next week to go back. "I'm not going," she said. And cried big, real, alligator tears. I called my friend, a swim instructor, and asked for help. Cassidy got on the phone with her and she gave the best advice: "you have to make scary bubbles. Wear goggles; you want to see where you are under there, don't you?" etc. like this. (it might have helped that this is a mom she adores, the mom of her "boyfriend," which is a whole other blog for another day...) It was enough to placate Cassidy, enough to get her in the car to give it another shot. I spoke to her teacher, and the other kid didn't show up so Cassidy had a solo lesson. I forgot about the goggles myself, but I watched Cassidy tell her teacher "I need goggles" and she ran off to get them. And under she went, swimming with a kick board, dunk kick ... dunk kick... dunk kick...
And me! Cassidy had cried those big tears hours before, and now there I was, pride from my feet to my crown swelling up and bursting out of my own eyes. Oh my God. As toddlers we spend so much time assisting, caring, guiding, helping, holding, soothing, etc. Now in a phase that I'm sure will never end when we ask of and witness our children be brave on their own, having given them tools to handle themselves, and watching these moments unfold where we are helpless to assist, and witness to them breaking through a fear. OH my heart... I shed some quiet tears knowing I could have fallen on to the floor bawling. Hooray! Hooray! After that, I needed a nap.
And the golden shoes. These golden sparkly shoes I bought at Marshalls on clearance for ten bucks, ridiculous, shiny, kind of hilarious shoes. She loves them, of course - and another milestone - now she can tie her own shoes, as of some weeks ago - another one of those raised eyebrow smiling moments, a mothering joy and sorrow of growing independence, and growing independence. But this one morning, my refrain of "hurry up, come on, we gotta go. hurry up, let's go!" ... ugh... and the damn shoes weren't tied, and as it still requires a bit of concentration from her, I bent down, let's get this done dammit, we are late ... and there my fingers on these sparkly damn shoes, gold shining on my face and this illuminated moment that screamed STOP!!!!!! JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE!!! STOP!!!
Do Not Miss this Beautiful Moment of Tying Sparkly Golden Shoes on your Almost Six Year Old. Do Not Miss This.
I was so thrown back, so amused and sad and wistful and happy and proud and delighted and devastated all at once. Time goes way too fast. Tying sparkly shoes, such a pleasure! Such a delight! Happy shoes on a happy girl and here I am rushing it, quick, let's go, hurry up, now, god dammit, we're late, get your jacket, come on... Stop. Don't miss this.
That said, I can't remember the third thing on my mind, and gonna be late for school if I don't go wake up the girl Right Now... sigh. and soon I will probably be saying hurry up, come on, let's go... but I will try so hard not to.
No comments:
Post a Comment